Mustard Seed Faith

A Little Change

2012-01-10T21:24:00.002-05:00

For all those who follow my blog, I have changed to a new website. mustardseedfaith1720.com. Please update your bookmarks. See ya there!

A Little Bit Italiano Tonight!

2012-01-02T17:58:00.005-05:00

Pizza Night Anyone?!

Ok so it's not 100% the real deal of Italian pizza...I just thought the title sounded cool! ;) I would love to try some real Italian pizza someday. Who knows...maybe I'll find a recipe (and some ambition) and try to make it myself sometime. I'm guessing there is some real work involved in making the dough, not to mention the kitchen is no doubt covered in flour. For tonight though...I took the easy route, and it was not bad if I do say so myself! We made two pizza because we have different taste in our house. My Mom's favorite is supreme, Jonathan's favorite is plain pepperoni, and Me? Well...I like either one. My all time favorite is pepperoni with pineapple, but since I don't have any pineapple that

option was out all together. Also, another note to share is that both pizzas had deer meat on them instead of ground beef.

I know some out there are anti-deer meat BUT Jonathan's cousin killed some for us this year and we really like it. Since we have had so much I don't see the point in buying ground beef also so we decided to give it a try and we found that it was really just as good with deer meat as it is with regular ground beef. We like using the deer meat in anything from chili to tacos, hamburger helper, veggie soup to now pizza! Try it out sometime and let me know what you think!

I LOVE COMMENTS! :)

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T11:53:00.002-05:00

So... today is January 1, 2012! I can't believe it is already the start of a brand new year and since today is Sunday I can't think of a better place to start off the new year than being in God's house today. I had planned to take pictures today of everything we would be doing to commemorate the day, but unfortunately I am stuck in the bed with a nasty cold and fever that I can't seem to fully shake. :( So... that said, I plan to take some pictures in the next couple of days and next Sunday to show how we have started off our new year! Trust me... you wouldn't want to see any pictures of me today! ;)

I've also decided (for the new year) that if I'm gonna have a blog then I had better keep up with it better than I have in the past, or do away with it all together. I'm not making any "new year's resolution promises," but here's hoping I can do a better job of keeping things up to date! I'm starting off with a new theme. Patriotic is always nice, but I thought seeing as how winter is officially here the snow ball fight theme better applies. ;) Stay tuned...pictures will be appearing soon!

PROJECT MANIA!

2011-09-14T11:46:00.005-04:00

I love to work on little projects, especially anything that has to do with wood. I worked for a lady several years back who taught me how to do the distressed look on furniture and ever since then I love to do anything like that.

At the beginning of summer I had quite a lot of small projects to do so I thought I would share some before and after pictures of what we did. Jonathan helped me with parts of it. As he says...his honey-do list just keeps growing. ;)

I recently got into wood burning and so I decided to make this sign for the quilt that we have that Jonathan's Granny made years ago. It has always been my favorite, but it has become VERY worn and so to try to preserve what is left of it I decided to put it on display where we can enjoy it that way. Here is a picture of me burning the sign and then the finished product hanging on the wall in our den!

~Before~

~After~

This small parlor set belonged to my Grandparents for many years and it was passed down to me. My Daddy says he remembers the day his Dad brought this home to his Mom. He said he was just a very little boy, he told me it is at least 40 yrs old. I think it's special that I got to have it after so many years. We put a good fresh coat of paint on it, and re-upholstered the chairs. I think it turned out pretty good! Especially considering its the first thing we have ever re-upholstered. ;)

~Before~

~After~

Last year Jonathan bought this double rocking chair for me for my birthday! When we got it, it did not have any kind of stain or polyurethane on it so over the winter it ended up looking very worn and rough. This spring I cleaned it up with bleach water, and to my surprise that bleach cleaned it up so well that it made it look like it had just come off the assembly line. I knew though that if I didn't put something on it that the same thing would happen all over again so I found a dark stain to put on it and then put a good coat of polyurethane over it to seal it. I think it turned out to be really pretty! I enjoy sitting on my front porch early in the morning or late in the evening...though I don't get to near as much as I would really like!

Anyway, hope you enjoyed looking at the pictures. :)

My Pretty Flowers

2011-09-08T21:10:00.003-04:00

Jonathan built this flower bed for me a few years ago for my birthday. I planted one of my favorite flowers in it. Daffodils! But the only sad part about those flowers is that they don't last all summer so after they have bloomed and died back, I pull up all the dead leaves and replant some type of annual flower in their place to last for the rest of summer. This year I chose Impatients. I have always loved Impatients. They start out so small and by the end of summer never cease to amaze me at how big they have grown!

Here it is empty, but just wait and see!

A picture Jonathan took a few years ago when it was bursting with daffodils! I always love it because it looks like a sea of yellow. :)

See how much they grew! Call me partial, but I think they are beautiful!

I just thought I would share one of my favorite things of summer with y'all. Hope you enjoy as much as I do! :)

Garden Blessings!

2011-09-06T20:51:00.005-04:00

The Lord has really blessed our garden this year with so much. We were able to get started a little earlier this spring than we normally do. I do not have pictures of everything, but I did try to get picture of most everything we had to come in. We have been so happy that things have gone as well as they have. Last year our garden didn't do so well, mainly due to harsh weather. However, I just have to tell the Lord thank you for the beautiful harvest He blessed us with this year! I put up a total of 60 cups of squash, 13 quarts plus we have a total of 30 ears of corn, 8 pints of cushaw, about 4 quarts of green bell peppers, and we had SO many tomatoes. I put up pasta sauce, pizza sauce, diced tomatoes, tomato juice, and salsa. I'm not sure how much of each one, but I know it ended up being about 60 jars total! What a blessing. :)

Here are a few pictures from our harvest~

Check out all that corn! oh! btw..I also ended up being stung by a packsaddle while picking the corn. I have never been stung by one and in fact was not even 100% sure of what it looked like. I remember right before it happened, I was thinking how happy I was to almost be finished picking all the corn without anyone being stung, and then BAM! I got it good. :) There were actually two of them and they both managed to get me pretty good. By the time I got inside the house my hand was already swollen and had two very big red welts.

Anyway, back to the corn..Here is a picture of the 13 quarts we put in the freezer!

Just in case you have never seen a packsaddle and wonder what it looks like, here ya go. Now that I look at it, I think it's kinda pretty, but at the time I got stung that was not at all the thought going through by mind!

A friend of mine said it right..."how can something so small and quite pretty, do something so awful?"

Chopped green bell peppers ready for the freezer. It's hard to tell it from the picture, but this ended up being about 2 quarts with by the time I got it all chopped up. I LOVE to cook with peppers so the fact that I have so much put up is awesome!

A few of the watermelon we grew! The two smaller ones were not as ripe as the rest, but it was OHHHH so good! Jonathan and I both love watermelon so we have grown it every year in our garden. I think it is a perfect sweet and cool treat on a hot summer day. :)

An over-flowing veggie basket!

Just one picture from the many times that my kitchen sink was this full of tomatoes!

Again I have to say, Thank you, Lord for your bountiful supply!

I Don't Know God's Way, But He Knows Mine!

2011-07-06T09:19:00.003-04:00

Job 23:8-10 “Behold, I go forward, but he is not there; and backward, but I cannot perceive him: On the left hand, where he doth work, but I cannot behold him: he hideth himself on the right hand, that I cannot see him: But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.”

Job has gone from the wealthiest, most influential person in his land to a man who is broke, humbled, and despised. He is a at a point where he cannot understand or figure out what God is doing.

He says that he goes forward but God is not there. He goes backward, but God is not there. He looks to the left and to the right, but he cannot find him or see Him there.

Maybe you find yourself in the same situation as Job. Things are happening that don’t make sense. It feels like God has abandoned you. You feel alone. You cannot make head or tails of what is going on!

You can rest in this truth, “…I cannot see him: but he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold!” You may not know God’s way, but the important thing is that He knows your way. He is in control, and when he is done you will come forth as gold. God is going to bring you through this trial and produce great things from your life.

Our responsibility is not so much to understand but to trust. We may not know all the details and reasons of God’s plan, but we can see from His Word that He can be trusted, so we should give Him our lives and trust Him to work everything out according to His plan.

(I saw this on a blog that I follow of a missionary family that my husband and I know. I enjoyed reading it and wanted to share it as well. Much of what is said above describes perfectly how I have felt lately. I do know that God is in control. He has a big plan, but I just can't see it all yet...so in the mean time, I'm learning to trust Him). -Becky

Be Still

2011-06-27T08:20:00.003-04:00

Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. Psalm 46:10
My Pastor preached yesterday from Psalm 46. He did a wonderful job, but what seem to be my favorite part was when he was talking about this verse. He said that sometimes we need to just be still, we get to busy with other things, and we forget about God when HE alone is the one we need the most. He made 2 comments that have stuck with me.

1. If we could really get ahold of this verse, reflect on it, and realize that God has ALL power in Heaven and earth, and realize what all HE has done.

2. He asked the question "How long has it been since God has made Himself known in your life?"

He also talked about in verse 1 where it says "a very present help." Very Present means abundantly accessible! so we will never go to Him for help that He will not be there for us! Sometimes we may feel that He is not there, but this verse proves that He is always by our side.

There is so much I need to learn from these verses. Imagine the amount of growing one could do if we could really get ahold of what it's really saying. I hope this has been a help to you as it was to me, and my prayer is that for my own life as well as all who read this that we could find help in our Savior. Even if it takes some negligence from other things in our life that would keep us from being still before Him, and then maybe we could really see that He IS a very present help in our time of trouble.

A Sight To See

2011-06-25T18:15:00.004-04:00

My Mother and Father-in-law raise honey bees, and today they were gonna be extracting some of the honey from the hives, and since I have never seen this done before I was excited to get to watch. Below is a video that Jonathan did of each step you go through as the whole process takes place. It was very interesting to watch as it all happened and might I add very tasty too! ;) Got to enjoy a few tastes of the honey as we did it all. Hope you will enjoy watching the video below!

SQUASH!!!

2011-06-22T14:28:00.002-04:00

First squash from our garden! Can't wait for supper tonight! :)

One Scarred Hand

2011-05-16T08:51:00.002-04:00

He is the fountain for a thirsty soul

He is the healer and so much more

When my heart is broken by this world's demands

The pieces are mended through one scarred hand

And when I can't stand, I have to lean

And when I can't see, I must believe

The Great Physician's touch is a balm that can

Mend broken hearts with one scarred hand

It's a hand that holds this whole world in place

It's a hand that was scarred just to give me grace

And to think a hand that holds the stars

Is small enough to mend one broken heart

And when I can't stand, I have to lean

And when I can't see, I must believe

The Great Physician's touch is a balm that can

Mend broken hearts with one scarred hand

My Pastor and his family sung this song at church yesterday. It was such a blessing to me so I wanted to share it!

The Lost Sea

2011-02-18T12:31:00.003-05:00

I have always wanted to go to The Lost Sea but had never gotten the chance until yesterday. I help plan trips for the homeschool group that is through our church so yesterday a small group of us got to go. I know everyone had a good time and I got to see something I had never seen before. It was interesting to me to learn some of the history that is there and how The Lost Sea was very first discovered. We enjoyed it so much that I got some other information on other caves that are in our area. Jonathan and I may plan a trip to some of those places very soon but for now here are a few pictures from our trip to The Lost Sea!

There is some vegetation that grows in the cave due to things that humans bring in on their own bodies and because of what small amount of light that is in the cave these things can grow. Most of what is seen in the cave is moss and ferns. In this picture you can see one of the ferns as well as some of the cave in the background.

Some more pictures of the cave.

The Front Entrance

A New Look!

2011-02-10T14:53:00.002-05:00

Sheeezzz!!! How far can one woman get behind with her blog?! Apparently I'm pretty good at it cause I still had PUMPKINS for my background! So where to start? I guess an apology would be a good place for not keeping up with it better. Nothing really new to post, but I do promise to TRY to do better. I do hope y'all will keep coming back to visit from time to time!

God Makes No Mistakes!

2010-10-11T16:44:00.003-04:00

My life I give to you oh Lord use me I pray

May I glorify Your precious name in all I do and say

Let me trust You in the valley dark as well as in the light

Knowing You will always lead me

Your will is always right

I know God makes no mistakes

He leads in every path I take

Along the way that’s leading me to home

Though at times my heart would break

There’s a purpose in every change He makes

So that others would see my life and know

That God makes no mistakes

And when some day in heav’n above I see His dear face

May I then be counted faithful as a runner in this race

But now I’m trusting in the Savior to show me the way

In His righteousness He guides me as I seek to please Him day by day

I know God makes no mistakes

He leads in every path I take

Along the way that’s leading me to home

Though at times my heart would break

There’s a purpose in every change He makes

So that others would see my life and know

That God makes no mistakes

God makes no mistakes

This song says much of what has been on my mind lately. I know God has a perfect plan even though we cannot always see and understand what it may be. I just hope that somehow my life will be a light for Him. He is so worthy, and it's not all about us, It's all about HIM and who HE is! The true desire of my heart is to live for the Lord. I am far from perfect and I fail Him everyday, but I desire to be like Him so that like the song says "others would see my life and know that He makes no mistakes."

The Great Outdoors!!

2010-10-05T15:52:00.002-04:00

A couple weeks ago we went on a camping trip with Scott, Kristan, and all the boys to Cherokee National Forest! The weather was perfect and it was so beautiful up there. It was nice getting away for a couple days and having fun with family. We got there on Thursday afternoon and we left on Saturday morning. I like camping and it's kinda interesting living like that for a couple days but I don't think I would want to do it for very long periods of time. I'm very much a 'Home Sweet Home' kinda girl!! The first day we kinda just hung around our campsite, played around, and I ate way more than I should have!! What is it about camping that makes you just want to eat ALL the time? Anyway, the second day after breakfast we all loaded up and went farther up in the mountains to see some of the scenery, afterwards we came back for supper and to settle down for the evening. Kristan made a big pot of chili and we sat around the campfire talking, making smores, and having fun! Later that night things got a little interesting when Kristan, and I got scared half to death by some sort of CRITTER that was in the woods!!! Turned out that it was just a bird (we think..?) but, needless to say I wanted to sleep in the car!! Silly I know, but you never really know what is lurking around in the woods after dark! All in all though it was a great trip and I'm very glad we all got to go. It made for some fun family memories!!

Check out this video of our camping trip from September!

A New Recipe

2010-08-18T09:25:00.003-04:00

I am ALWAYS on the hunt for a new recipe! I recently came across this one, and thought I'd try it. We LOVED it! :) so If you have an adventurous side and like to try new things then give this a whirl.

Foil-Pack Taco chicken

4 boneless skinless chicken breast

1 pkg. taco seasoning mix

3-4 potatoes, peeled, thinly sliced

1/2 cup salsa

3/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese

1/4 cup sour cream (optional)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Roll chicken in the seasoning mix. Place approx. 1/2 cup of the potatoes on center of each of 4 large sheets of foil; top evenly with chicken, salsa, and cheese.

Bring up foil sides. Double fold top and both ends to seal each packet, leaving room for heat circulation inside. Place on backing sheet.

Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until chicken is cooked through. Remove from oven. Let stand for 5 minutes. Cut slits in foil to release steam before opening. Serve with sour cream.

Makes 4 servings. Tip: To prevent potatoes from sticking to the foil, spray with cooking spray.

Hope you like it. Let me know what ya think! :)

Pie Contest

2010-08-06T11:12:00.004-04:00

Before...

During...

After...

Here is the video!

Youth Revival At FBC

2010-08-05T21:53:00.002-04:00

Bro. Jonathan, Ms. Kelsey, & Little Hayden Davis

We just finished a youth revival at our church last night. Bro. Jonathan Davis and his family were there with us. Our church loves this family and they are always such a blessing to be around. Thank you to Bro. Jonathan for all the great messages we heard, and a big thank you to all our church for all the hard work and the prayers that you have done to make this week possible. I pray that this revival will continue on in the hearts of our people, and I hope that our young people will continue to seek God's will for their lives.

A few days prior to the start of the revival a deal was made with all of the youth that whoever brought the most visitors would have the opportunity to throw a pie in my husbands face. (He of course pleaded that it NOT be coconut...Due to the fact that he hates anything coconut)!!! We did tell all of our youth that of course it is ok to have a little fun, but this was not the main thing for this revival, and that the most important part was to see lives touched and hopefully changed. As the week continued it was decided that Bro. Jonathan Davis would also be in on this and he too would get a pie in the face! :) He willingly agreed, and so the week continued with a count of who brought the most. The winner was Emily Pallotta, and she was MORE than willing to throw those pies! I got a video and a few pictures of the event. They will be uploaded soon so please come back to see!

A Day Of fun!

2010-07-28T15:30:00.001-04:00

Jonathan and I were invited to spend the day with some friends at Dollywood for the afternoon this past Friday. It had been awhile since we had both been able to go to Dollywood so we jumped at the idea and a chance to get to spend time with good friends. It was a very fun day and we are looking forward to going back very soon. :)

Our Crew that went to Dollywood

Bro. Ben Cooley & Carrie Nelson

Cory Nelson

Jonathan & I

Beauty Of A New Day!

2010-07-28T12:49:00.000-04:00

This is the day that the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

This is one of my favorite Bible verses because God says we are to Rejoice in each new day that He gives us and whenever I read this verse it reminds me of the beauty that we find in each new day, and of His forever goodness in my life.

2010-07-28T12:37:00.001-04:00

2010-07-02T23:08:00.001-04:00

A borrowed quote from another blog~

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;

and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him,

and he shall direct thy paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

More Pictures

2010-06-26T15:44:00.001-04:00

Me & Him

November 2004~

This is one of the few pictures I have that was taken

while we were dating, so it is very treasured!!! I love it :)

Our Wedding Day

April 16,2005

May 2010~

This is one of the more recent pictures I have.

It was taken in the Nashville Airport,

before we left to go to Colorado.

Memories To Be Shared!

2010-06-25T07:13:00.000-04:00

I was going through my pictures yesterday morning and found a bunch that I thought would be fun to share with everyone. Some were taken recently and some are older. Hope you enjoy them! I will be uploading more later.

Beautiful Mountains in Colorado~Summer 2010

Braden at Water Wars~Summer 2009

My Daddy and me~Christmas 2008

My "other" Mom and my adopted little sister!

My Family~Fall 2009

Truly Blessed!

2010-03-29T07:24:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I celebrated my 26th birthday! I love birthdays, not for all the attention you receive (while of course it is nice and makes the day special) to me it's the blessing of another year! you see...I did not deserve to wake up everyday for the past 365 days, but it happened. I do not deserve life, but I have it. I do not deserve to have two hands, feet, eyes, ears, legs, arms, but they are there. I do not deserve the air I breathe, but when I woke up this morning..I was breathing just fine! I do not deserve all the earthly things I have, but God has allowed me to have them. I do not deserve the wonderful husband that God has given me or the wonderful friends and family I have, but God's blessings are endless. I do not deserve the love of my Savior, but it is wonderful. I do not deserve the peace in my heart when I go to sleep each night, but I can sleep knowing all is well. I do not deserve to live in America, the only country that is still free, but I bleed red, white, and blue! I do not deserve to go to Fellowship Baptist Church and be free to worship our great Savior, but He made a way. I do not deserve to be saved and on my way to Heaven, but Jesus paid my debt.

I could go on for forever! I do not deserve any of this, but God's been good, and I can truly say that I've been blessed far more than what I deserve.

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. Matthew 5:16

Jonathan preached on this verse last night, and I want so much to live this life. My hope and prayer is that others would see Him in me..not me..because I am nothing without Him, but that He would get all the honor and glory with however He chooses to use my life. I know that it seems like life hands us some really hard things at times, but God is good even in these times too, and I can honestly say that He's my best friend!

My worst day as a Christian is still FAR better than my best day, trying to live it without my Lord!

So, I will just end with this, Thanks you, Lord for another year of Your wonderful blessings on my life!

Still Got Nothing!

2010-03-26T08:33:00.001-04:00

I have been thinking and thinking for days, trying to come up with a great post to make up for the fact that I have not posted anything since Valentines, but to my dismay~I still got nothing!!!

I decided that perhaps changing the look would help some, and especially since spring has sprung!! I wanted something that looks cheerful. With the warm weather we have been having we have started doing some much needed work around our house, cleaning up from all the deadness of winter. I was quite surprised the other day when I was cleaning out some of my flower beds at all the little sprouts shooting up, and the new life that they bring. I will post some pictures as things continue to improve around the house. But, for now I figured what is better? posting nothing or posting that I still got nothing to post about! SO here's hoping that you will like my new look and get a chuckle out of my state of nothingness!!

Good day to you all with love,

2010-02-15T12:10:00.001-05:00

Happy Valentines Day, My Love

I am so thankful for the wonderful husband that the Lord has blessed me with! We will celebrate 5 yrs this coming April, and I look forward to the many more down the road. My prayer is that we will always keep the Lord at the center of our home, and trust Him for all our needs. The Lord has blessed us so much, and He deserves all the Honor and praise!

I Love You, My Sweet Valentine! You make me happy everyday :)

XOXOXOXO

My Hearts Desire

2010-01-04T07:30:00.000-05:00

~As The Deer~

Verse 1

As the deer panteth for the water

So my soul longeth after you

You alone are my hearts desire

And I long to worship you

Chorus

You alone are my strength my shield

To You alone may my spirit yield

You alone are my hearts desire

And I long to worship you

Verse 2

You're my friend and You are my brother,

Even though you are a king.

I love you more than any other,

So much more than anything.

Verse 3

I want You more than gold or silver,

Only You can satisfy.

You alone are the real joy Giver,

And the apple of my eye.

Life is not always so easy, each day seems to present itself with new battles to face, victories to win, mountains to climb and valley's to cross, but God's mercy is great, His love unchanging, His comfort sweet, His grace amazing, and His power limitless!

I am learning more and more everyday that trusting the Lord is not always easy, but I am also learning that there is sweet comfort in resting in His arms. We truly have such a WONDERFUL Savior, and I love Him with all my heart.

I love this song, and these words sum up a lot of what I have been feeling lately. I want so much to serve the Lord with all my heart, He has been so good to me. May I live for Him for all my days and with all my heart and keep my life pure so that I can always have sweet communion with my Savior. Again I say, I love you, Lord

Choosing To Walk The Road Less Traveled

2009-12-07T09:49:00.000-05:00

I will warn you now, this is probably going to be a long post though I hope that does not keep you from reading it! I have had much on my mind for the last several weeks, and I must say it all. I do not want to divide this into more than one post so if you do not have the extra time on your hands you may not want to read it.

Giving God Your All~

For the last several service we have had at Church, this area has been dealt with a lot. Through the preaching, devotions, even in Sunday School Jonathan has been talking along these lines to the teens. There has been MUCHsaid lately about giving God your ALL, and doing your very best for Him. Living a life that shines out to the world, showing who you are, what you believe, and who you stand for.

To be truly honest...the first time our Pastor preached on the subject The Lord began working in my heart. As I sat there listening that day to what he was saying, my heart was throbbing and felt like it was gonna explode out of my chest. I sat there under conviction, but saying the whole time "Lord, I do want to do my best for you and give you my all!" and it seemed like He questioned back "Do you really?"

I have tried to dismiss the thoughts whirling through my mind and the overwhelming feelings in my heart, but to my dismay, He has kept knocking at the door. (really...I am glad He has!) but for several days these thoughts have been replaying through my mind so hard, and just to be completely honest, I have become somewhat flustered in an attempt to see what He is really wanting me to see, but deep down inside knowing it all to well.

I have said many times that I would give God my all, but in the back of my mind was still somewhat reserved for fear of what others would think of me if I did. Everyone wants to feel needed and loved rather than discredited and beat down if they choose to walk a life for the Lord.

My eyes have been opened a little wider to see just that though- as Christians we are not to live like the rest of the world, we are to be set apart and different. We are to live separated lives so that others will know without any doubts that we are what we say we are.

I was faced with something last week that made me question all these things. It was the first time I had really ever been questioned for my belief, and I had an opportunity to stand up and say why, but I didn't. Not because I don't know why, although I don't know all the reasons. I try to walk what I talk and do what I know is right, but I got scared...I questioned myself and all that I know to be true. I know we all fail and mess up sometimes, but I had been laughed at for what I believe and I hated myself for it.

I had several people tell me that I should not let it get to me so much, and that I should not have let this individual dictate who I am because they really don't know me. I know now that they were all right, but the whole situation and the fact that God has already been working in me about these very things has gotten me fired up now! I am tired of being a coward! I do care what people think of me, but I do NOT want to let anyone push me around again and not at least stand up and fight for what I believe, know why I believe it, and not be afraid to go against the grain! Living for God is the road less traveled, it is going against the current, it is having a face in the wind, it is not popular or always easy but...IT IS RIGHT!!!!

Even as I sit here with all these questions and thoughts racing through me, I know all the answers are found in the Lord. When looking at it that way it seems like it should all be so easy...right? WRONG! So why is it complicated I ask? One answer I have found is this.

The Devil loves for nothing more than to torment us, and sometimes He does such a good job that we are left feeling defeated, torn, and miserable. We CANNOT let Him kick us down, and keep us there though. If we do then He has gained the victory.

I have found it is hard also because as I said in a previous post, we have our own will and pride to contend with, and I know that is why I must keep reading my Bible and stay on my knees before God to not loose sight of Him.

Again I say, maybe it's that we fear the ridicule we will be given if we choose to take that stand, but any dead fish can float down stream! We CAN have a face in the wind, and if we are made fun of, or laughed at then let it be a marker on our lives for a time we took a stand for Christ.

I am normally a peace maker and a people pleaser. I DO NOT like confrontation and I rarely say what is really on my mind just to avoid a "heated" discussion, but I am tired of failing, and just standing by on the sidelines while all that I know to be true and good and right is being walked all over.

With that in mind you may not like what I have to say, you may even hate it, you can call me Wacko, Plain Jane, Conservative, Radical, whatever you please, but before you start throwing your arrows at me let me ask these questions-

What is so wrong with taking a stand for Christ?

What is so wrong with going to Church every time you possible can?

What is so wrong with praying and asking God in faith knowing that He will do what He promised?

I know these things were not to personal (and now let the throwing begin) if so that is fine, but...

What is so wrong with a woman choosing to stay home to be a keeper of her house? Now don't get me wrong, I know that their are some women who have no choice but to go to work and even some who choose that. I will not judge you or think wrong of you if you do. I'm just saying why are woman who stay at home laughed at for doing so?

Why do others view you as a "Jesus Freak" if you choose to wear skirts and dresses all the time? I battled for many, many years on what the big deal was for me to wear pants, but I know what God has told me, it is a conviction He has put in my heart. Again, I will not judge you or think wrongly of you if you wear pants, but I know what God has told mefor my life.

What is so wrong with a wife submitting to her husband (even if he is wrong at times) this is what a Godly woman is supposed to do. Support her husband and back him up. The Bible tells us ...see that she reverence her husband. Ephesians 5:33 Even if you think he is wrong and do not like what he says, I believe it is a matter of respect for the position that God has put him in as the spiritual leader of your home.

What is so wrong with choosing to be careful about what you watch on t.v. or the music you listen to, what you look at on the internet, the friends that you hang around with? I have heard it said all my life that the company you keep is who you are, and who you will become like, While I did understand that before, it had really never sunk in. Now it is all so clear to me. Birds of a feather WILL flock together! I have seen some of my own BEST friends lives ruined because they got in the wrong place at the wrong time, and choose the wrong kind of people to be around, and the wrong way of living.

I do not have any children yet so I may not have much room to speak here, and if God does ever bless us with children, I know we will make mistakes and fail, but I also know what we believe and with the help and grace of God I know how we desire to raise our kids so that He may get the glory and honor.

I have been asked, Will they be home-schooled? my reply is, Yes! What is wrong with that? I don't see the harm in wanting to keep our children home with me to keep them from the danger of this world.

I have had lots of people ask me "When you have kids-will you tell them-no?" "Will you give them a whoopin' if they need it?" again I say, Yes! What is wrong with that? It is not gonna hurt them to hear the word 'no' or for their backsides to get a little tan!

But, might I add that they will be talked to, adored, cherished, held, rocked, cuddled, hugged, kissed, fed, provided for, read to, sung to, told about Jesus, taken to Church and Sunday School, and loved with an ever-lasting love. As I said above, I know that we will not be perfect parents. I will not be a perfect Mother, but I want to strive to be the best that I can be. As you can see this was a much bigger question than the rest, but it is what I/We believe. The Bible say, Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6.

Last, but certainly not least...

What is wrong with keeping God at the very center of your home? Seeking Him first for everything in your lives.

What is wrong with reading the Bible and praying together as a family?

What is wrong with giving God your all? He did give you His all.

Again I say, these are convictions, they are mine, and I will not judge you for yours, that is NOT my place, but I will take a stand.

I will fight for right.

I will walk the road less traveled for my Savior.

I will be a do it the hard and not easy way kind of girl.

I know I am not perfect, and I make mistakes, but I want to have a face in the wind, and live a pure, holy, and acceptable life for God. Even if it means being laughed at I want to say publicly that from this day I will do my best to give my all for my Savior, and not be ashamed of who I am, what I believe, and who I stand for.

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. Colossians 3:23-24

100 Things About Me

2009-12-05T07:18:00.000-05:00

In completely random order, 100 things about me:

1. I was born in Naha, Japan

2. I lost my first tooth when I was 3...knocked it out in a swimming pool!

3. I started home schooling in 6th grade

4. It's snowing at my house right now...first one of the year! I'm lovin' it!

5. Sometimes I read stuff backwards.

6. I still LOVE to watch cartoons!

7. I had braces for 3 1/2 years.

8. I had my gallbladder removed when I was 18.

9. I HATE lima beans...nasty stuff!

10. I still love to color!

11. I like to play in the rain.

12. I learned how to tie my shoes when I was 3.

13. I know how to skate backwards.

14. I played softball for 4 years and loved it, but I was not really all that good...I would play again if I could, but I am almost sure I would double-over with pain while trying to run to first base!

15. I HATE! HATE! HATE! coffee...I even hold my nose when I go down that aisle in the grocery store cause I hate to smell it.

16. I was raised in Church most of my life, but did not get saved until I was 18.

17. I am so gullible.

18. I love telling people about Jesus, and what He's done for me.

19. Although...I am very shy, and freeze like a popsicle if I have to talk to someone I don't know.

20. I was a VERY BIG tom boy when I was younger

21. I don't like showering (but don't worry, I do!)

22. I am TERRIFIED, and I mean TERRIFIED of big dogs!

23. I can't do jumping jacks!

24. I was in 1st grade for 2 years :(

25. My Favorite color is pink!

26. I took spanish for 3 1/2 years in elementary school.

27. I failed my drivers test the first time I took it.

28. I LOVE orange juice!

29. I love to cook new recipes!

30. I have a sewing machine, but can't sew a thing...in fact I think it hates me!

31. However, I love to do cross stitching!

32. I have great (and I mean great) in-laws!

33. My full name is Rebecca Marie-Ann Snow.

34. I knew my husband for about 8 yrs before we ever started dating.

35. Our Anniversary is April 16, 2005

36. I love to draw!

37. I love toe socks!

38. I would rather work outside all day than in the house for an hour.

39. I'm NOT a morning person!

40. I hate when someone empties the trash and does not put a new bag in the trash can.

41. I turned 21 a week before we got married.

42. My favorite Christmas movie is "White Christmas"

43. I have a pink iPhone...and I am ashamed to say I would prolly be lost without it cause it has everything in it.

44. My favorite game is called "My Word" but I loose every time I play it!

45. My favorite sandwich is PB&J

46. I did not go to college

47. I cracked the bone and tore 2 tendons in my ankle when I was 22.

48. I live in the country on a tiny road, and completely love it!

49. Sometimes my eyes are brown, sometimes they are green...depends on what I am wearing.

50. I love to watch Andy Griffith~Whew! Half way - are you stickin' with me?

51. I can't say the word-pistachio

52. I am VERY ticklish!

53. I CAN"T STAND to have my feet touched, and I cannot control what might happen if they do get touched! Watch out! you might get kicked in the head or something!

54. I DON"T like horror movies.

55. My dream vacation was always to go to Italy, now I am cool with anywhere if it gets ya away for a vacation!

56. Don't ever trust me with your keys...for some reason I loose other peoples keys.

57. I had long hair when I was little.

58. I had strep throat like 10 times in 1 year...I had my tonsils removed the following year.

59. I Love, Love, Love to scrapbook, but I am the slowest scrap-booker ever! I have stuff from 2007 that I have still not done!

60. I don't really collect anything...that I know of anyway!

61. I used to hate milk and now I love it.

62. I am always so cold....even when it's really warm outside I get cold easy.

63. When I laugh really hard it makes my eyes water.

64. I am 25, but I am a total teen girl at heart (sleep over anyone?)

65. I tried to wear contact, but couldn't, so I just look like a geek in my glasses.

66. I take the Bible literally.

67. I believe there is a Heaven and a Hell, and only 1 way to get to Heaven.

68. I discovered that the easter bunny was fake when I was 3 because when I went to the mall to have my picture taken with him...I saw his socks and I knew that he was not supposed to have socks on....In the picture I am crying!

69. I don't understand why parents tell their kids that there is a santa, easter bunny, or tooth fairy only to have to tell them a few years down the road that it's not really true.

70. I have PCOS which is causing us problems to have kids, but I know God is able, and CAN work a miracle beyond all our dreams!

71. I love to watch football!!! Especially UT and Indy Colts!

72. I hate the way green apple candy taste.

73. I love the smell from our fireplace burning in the winter.

74. I still have my favorite child-hood toy! my bear~Bubby

75. I am a really bad bowler, but love it anyway!

76. I sing with a trio at Church sometimes, but really sound awful!

77. I like to dip french fries in ice cream!

78. I cry every time I watch "It's A Wonderful Life"

79. I won 1st place in the high jump contest one year during field day at school, but I am only 5ft. tall.

80. I still have a crush on my husband, and I get butterflies when he kisses me!

81. I don't like swimming in lakes, ponds, or the ocean (because I don't like creepy crawly things).

82. However, I love, love, love the beach!

83. Jonathan and I spent our honeymoon at Ft. Walton Beach, FL.

84. I enjoy hiking.

85. I love being surprised.

86. I can't drive a stick shift to well.

87. I once locked my keys in the car and they were in the driver seat.

88. I have never been to Washington, D.C.

89. I get carsick really easy! :(

90. Nyquil makes me really hyper.

91. My husband is the youth director at our Church and we work with the greatest group of young people! I just love it!

92. I LOVE pickles!

93. I LOVE to read my Bible!

94. I hate dusting the furniture...I do it!...but to me it just seems pointless.

95. I don't like chocolate milk or hot chocolate.

96. My favorite candy bar is Snickers! I LOVE EM'!

97. I love being a woman.

98. I love diet sprite...(aka~carbonated water)

99. If I see my own blood...chances of me passing out are pretty High!

100. I am SO glad to be finished with this list - that was hard work!

In His Grip

2009-12-04T09:01:00.000-05:00

When I woke up this morning my thoughts seemed to go immediately to the tasks that lay before me, as I looked around I saw a mess in every corner it seemed like, a pile of laundry, a dishwasher needing to be emptied to make way for all the dirty dishes in the sink, and the list of chores continues, plus all the other things that do not just pertain to the house. As I looked around I began to feel quite over whelmed. I started thinking...where do I begin? How am I supposed to get all this done? As I stood there just looking...I jokingly thought, “I need a twin or something cause It’s gonna take more than just me to get all this done!” Then I told myself “Oh Becky, just get a grip and start somewhere!”

It seemed like at that moment God said, “Ya know, I can help you get all that stuff done today if you will just ask me!” my reply was “Yes Lord, and I am gonna need all of Your help I can get and I do not want to begin this day without You.

This was actually the very topic of the devotion given last night at our Secret Sister Banquet by Ms Williams, how if we will get up faithfully every morning and give the Lord the first part of our day that He will be faithful back to us, and speak to our hearts and give us something that we will need to make it through that day.

As I opened my Bible I saw a verse that I have written in the inside cover. For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee. Isaiah 41:13

As I read this verse I remember what I had said first “just get a grip” and I realized that I did not need to get a grip because I am in his grip! It seemed like He said to me “See, I told you I would help you!” as long as I am holding your hand, and I always will, and you can’t get away because you are in My grip!

Thank You Lord, for giving me just what I needed to make it through this day, and thank you for reminding me that you are right there holding my hand ready and willing to help me....if I just ask!

I will Love thee, O LORD, my strength. Ps. 18:1

2009-11-20T07:41:00.000-05:00

I just recently heard this little saying. “There is strength in numbers” now I have heard this before, and in someways I suppose that it is true, there are strength in numbers, but when I heard it this time, it made me think back to a study I had been doing that I never got to finish. I went back and began to look through some notes I had wrote down, and as I read through it all a new thought came to mind, instead of “There is strength in numbers” how about “There is strength in one”

What began this search originally were some verses that I had read one morning. I will love thee, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies. Psalm 18: 1-3

In these verses it mentions 2 times that God is our strength, I was always taught when you are reading God’s Word and He says something more than once then it is something He really wants you to know! I began to think about how He is our strength, how He is always there for us if we will just come to Him. We know that He knows our needs without us even telling Him, but that is His desire, that we would come to Him.

I started thinking about how this is easier said than done sometimes, to tell Him all of our needs and to trust Him, leaving it in His hands, and knowing that He is our strength and that He will take care of us, and then I began to think, “Well, why is it easier said than done?” the answer I found was not completely what I wanted to hear, but it is true!

So why is it so hard? because we have our own will, we wake up every morning with a fresh start, but we are given a choice, to serve God or live for self, to choose right or wrong, to back down or stand for what we believe. Even Paul said “I die daily”

In our own strength we are nothing, we cannot be what God wants us to be if we try to make it on our own. I have tried this, and I failed miserably. I still fail everyday because I am human, but I desire to do right, I desire to be what God wants me to be, I desire to be like Him just as much as I can be, but if we were just like Him then we would not need Him.

If we did not need Him then He would not have said, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness...2 Corinthians 12:9. If we did not need Him~we would never know the peace that He can give, If we did not need Him~we would not know of His saving power, If we did not need Him~we would not know the unspeakable joy that He gives with an answered prayer, If we did not need Him~we would not know how He can hold us by His grace, If we did not need Him~we would not know the love that He gave when He died to set us free, If we did not need Him~we would not see the miracles that He can do, If we did not need Him~then we would be perfect, and we would not know the true beat of His heart, If we did not need Him~then I would not have found 55 places in the Bible that talk about His strength, I am sure that there are others than that, that is just what I found. After finding all these places I though again about how if it is said more than once then He really wants us to know it!

So my question for you today is this...Do you know Him? Do you know of His Saving Power, His Love, His forgiveness, and HIS strength? If you don’t~I pray that you will find Him!

I am so thankful for His love and grace on my life, and with each passing day may I constantly be reminded that HE is my strength!

I WILL LOVE THEE, O LORD, MY STRENGTH. PSALM 18:1

What Do We Do When The Pressure Is On?

2009-11-17T08:01:00.000-05:00

For the past 2 Sunday's Jonathan has been teaching in S.S. about peer pressure. Most of the time when we think of that we think of teens getting involved in the wrong crowd and letting their peers dictate who they are because they just want to fit in, but everyone faces pressure, from a child to a grown adult. Although a child will not face it in the same way, it is still there. We need to adopt some new ways of thinking when it comes to this topic.

Jonathan has been talking about all of this and I have enjoyed it so much...

The Bible talks about 3 young men who faced some GREAT pressure. In Daniel chapter 3, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego were faced with some big decisions..they could have easily fell down and just worshipped the image to save their own necks, but no, they told the king inverse 16, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter. It was a big deal, but it was not even something they had to think about because they knew what they stood for and it was not negotiable. We need to have things in our lives that are not negotiable, Set some standards for what we believe, and not back down on them no matter what.

In the next 2 verses these men told the king~ hey look you may think that your all big and bad, But our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up. We cannot fear the pressure that we are faced with because if we stand against the fight God promised to make a way of escape. There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. 1 Corinthians 10:13. I know this is easier said than done sometimes...I have fought this battle myself because when we see all that is around us we sometimes get scared and give in.

Another perfect example is the story of Peter walking on the water to Jesus. Matthew 14:28-31 Peter started off right...he had faith that God was there and would keep Him, but then he took his eyes off of Jesus and saw all that was around him and he began to sink. I am so thankful to know that God is there to catch us when we fall, but I hope I can learn how to see through clouds of despair and the heat of the battle andKNOW that God is right there. I am thankful to know that we as Christians can have a face in the wind and stand against the pressures we face because we have someone so much great by our side.

Glimmers Of Hope Found In The Dark (Part 2)

2009-11-09T13:40:00.000-05:00

Finding

Answers

Inspired

Through

Heaven

I promised I would share why this meant so much to me..

At first I was not sure why He gave me this little thought although I did find it encouraging I was just not sure why, but then when we got home from Church saturday night, Jonathan commented on how bright the sky was and how beautiful the stars were, when I looked up to see, the beauty seemed to almost take my breathe way, I wish I could have gotta a good picture of what it looked like, but anyway, I stood for just a moment and looked at the beauty before me, as I looked I was reminded of the devotion that Jonathan did a while back. He talked about these two verses.

Who hath measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, and meted out heaven with the span, and comprehended the dust of the earth in a measure, and weighed the mountains in scales, and the hills in a balance? Isaiah 40:12

And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also. Genesis 1:16

As he talked about these verses he said how that God made the Heaven in the span of His hand but also in this verse in Genesis it says that He made the stars also. Jonathan said how that it seemed like it was almost an after-thought. Almost like God was saying here "I'll put these out there too, just cause I can!" He was talking about how big God is and how He can do all this but still He cares about you and me and our needs.

My mind went back to this thought about faith that He had given me earlier in the day and it was as if He was saying "See, if you look with more than just your eyes you will see what I want you to."and I can help you find answers for what you seek and help your faith grow in something as beautiful as these stars you see.

It was then that I really realized why He gave me this thought, and how sometimes He DOES work in ways we CAN see.

Seeing those stars reminded me of these verses and how big God is and How much He does love me and cares for my needs, and once again my F.A.I.T.H did grow!

I know these thoughts are some-what scattered but it is what He gave me and I wanted to share it. I do hope it might encourage you as it did me!

Small Glimmers Of Hope Found In The Dark

2009-11-07T21:29:00.000-05:00

Why do you think it is that God lets such trials come into our lives? This is a thought that has been on my mind quite a lot lately. I know that He sometimes brings these times to us for many different reasons. Maybe to help our faith grow stronger, maybe to draw us closer to Him, maybe so that He can get all the glory with our lives and that somehow others might believe through our struggles, but as I look around and I see those that I love so much and they are struggling so much it makes me want to ask God "Why?" why must they face such hurt? It makes me hurt for them because they are my friends and I care and I love them.

Earlier today I was thinking about my own faith, and how I may not know all the plans He has and I can't always see how He is working, but I still know He is. I was thinking about how I want my faith to increase so that through it I can be closer to the Lord and walk with Him more. As I kept thinking on these things God gave me this little thought about F.A.I.T.H

Finding

Answers

Inspired

Through

Heaven

I certainly do not know all the answers, but I do know that He works in ways we cannot see, and sometimes He works in ways we can. This little thought meant so much to me and I will share why next week.

Our Journey, Our Wait, Our Desire, Our Hope

2009-11-02T10:45:00.000-05:00

Today when I woke up I was faced with what seemed to be just a normal day and I began the usual tasks of the morning, which usually consist of getting Jonathan's lunch and clothes together for the day and then seeing him off to work with a hug and a kiss and my wish for his day to go well!

As the morning continued I was doing my usual chores and it seemed like all of a sudden the Devil started working hard and well at making me discouraged, but while it seemed like I was fighting with him, God began to work in my heart and I began praying and asking for His help and comfort. Sounds all spiritual right? Well, I can promise you that I am not at all what I should be but I knew that through His Word I would find strength for the day at hand. As I opened the cover of my Bible I read this verse. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26 as I read this verse it seemed like God spoke so softly and said "Let me be your strength, I can, if you will let me." I said ok through tears and a broken heart, but still...in my attempts to find peace and guidance I did a search on Waiting on God.

I found this poem and a video(the link to the video is at the very bottom of the page under the poem) and it touched my heart so much because it seemed to fit perfectly for the day and the battle that we have been fighting, it is our desire to have a child of our own, and it is a journey that we are walking with the Lord. We are waiting and trusting in His timing for this precious gift.

I know that there are MANY other couples out there that have faced infertility and I even know a few who are now. Some have gained victory and some continue to wait... it keeps me reminded that we are not the only ones facing this battle, but at the same time this waiting process is really unlike anything I have ever experienced in my life, and until the day it is resolved the longing and desire will stay. Sometimes I find myself almost pretending or wishing it away just to find some relief but deep down inside it remains.

The dream to have a sweet little one fill my arms is a desire that is buried deep inside me. It is a longing that I cannot hide. Ever since I was just a little girl I knew when I grew up that I wanted to be a Wife and a Mommy. The same dream remains now that I am grown, I want nothing more than to serve God and have a home that is for HIS glory! To be a great wife for the wonderful husband that God has given me, and I have so much of a longing to hold a child of our own.

I have spent days on my face begging God for His grace, I have fought sleepless nights searching for His wisdom and comfort but still...we wait...I have questioned many times "God, do you still care? have you forgotten us?" I do know deep down inside that He DOES care, but I will admit that sometimes I get so tired of fighting this grueling pain that does not go away, I have cried bitter tears and begged God "Why?" but His answer is still seems to be the same~ just wait.

We will have been married for 5 years on April 16, 2010. We have been trying almost the entire time we have been married to have a baby, and yes, I know that does not seem like that long. But during this time of waiting we have cried what seems like a million tears, held each other close and prayed for God's wisdom and guidance, but through His mercy and grace we have also grown closer to Him and closer together, we have laughed a lot, and God has been so good and gracious to us. We have many special moments that will be with us forever, and I know that each day we make new memories that will continue to last a lifetime that we will spend together.

It is still the desire of our hearts to have a home that is for His glory and children to that we can teach and raise for Him.

Please pray for us that we will continue to grow in our faith as we walk this journey.

The poem I found~

Wait

by Russell Kelfer

****************

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .

And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate

Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?

I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,

Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,

As my Master replied again, "Wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,

And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .

and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.

You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;

You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me

When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love

When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.

You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight.

The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask

From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,

But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.

And though oft My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

http://www.tearsandhope.com/emptyarms_video.html

I want to say a comment about this video that is at the link above, It is not something that I put together or anything, it is something that I found that comes about the closest I can explain to what we have been going through. It talks about all the years that have gone by, and no, we have not been waiting for many, many years but, I would consider almost 5yrs to be a waiting time that to us seems long. Maybe its seems selfish or wrong of me to think this way when there are so many others who have waited longer, but as I said above it is a longing that I cannot hide. I pray that as we wait God will give us the grace to wait well and ...run with patience the race that is set before us. Hebrews 12:1

Who Is God?

2009-10-29T21:44:00.000-04:00

Have you ever stopped to think about who God is? I mean really just think...I know we all know, and most everyone I have ever met has been raised their whole life knowing who He is, but I have just been thinking lately about how good He is!

I believe everything that the Bible teaches us that He is but I stand amazed just thinking about it all! I really can’t wrap my mind around everything, but I do believe that if we could really grasp even the smallest amount of who He is and how wonderful He is I am sure that all of Heaven and earth could not contain all the joy we would have nor the praises we would be singing to Him!

It makes me wonder sometimes how anyone could possibly not believe in Him!

I mean who else could have calmed the stormy seas, created Heaven in the span of His hand, made the mountains and all the water (which by the way He says is just a drop of water in the palm of His hand) who else could have turned water to wine, saved the woman at the well, made the dumb to talk, and the blind to see, who else could have raised Lazarus from the dead, or healed the man that was lame from birth, or created life from dust, who else could have been born to a virgin woman, came into this world and lived a perfect sinless life, who else would go to Calvary and die in our place, who else could have (if He wanted to) called all of the angels from Heaven to come and set Him free, who else could have taken the keys of death and hell? My, My, My, I have chills just thinking about all these things! Because no one else could have ever done all that!

I know these are all stories we all know and have loved since we were kids but I was just thinking too..What about all the things He still does today?

He can still save souls today just like He was over 2,000 years ago, He can still heal diseases, He can still take away the doubts and fears that we are faced with, He can still change lives, He can still meet all our needs and supplies many of the things we want, and He still answers prayer (big or small) He can still take a man and woman and put them together to become one and have a family that wants to serve Him, He can still take sons and daughters and make them into shining women and Godly men that love Him, He is STILL a miracle working God today just like He was then!

I just want to thank Him for who He is, and say how much I love Him!

Soaring On Broken Wings

2009-10-13T11:23:00.000-04:00

Here I go with another long post and it may have just been something for me, but I hope that it will be an encouragement to you as it was to me when reading these things. God works in such wondrous ways and I thank Him for His goodness in my life!

This verse came to mind yesterday while I was reading my Bible. I have read it many times and it has been a help to me many times, but yesterday when I read it I began to dig a little deeper and thinking about how we are compared to the eagle. I did some research and found out some things about eagles that I really did not know. Nothing big just some interesting facts.

There are 59 different species of eagles but people are most familiar with the bald eagle. The Bald Eagle is our National Symbol and does represent freedom. This I did know, but somethings I did not know~ eagles can have a wing span of 8ft. and they can fly up to 65mph. When they are diving they can fly up to speeds of 200mph. and they can soar at altitudes of 10,000ft. God so enabled them to soar at these heights because eagles will when faced with a storm rise above it.

As humans I found out that we can climb to about 8,000ft. normally, but beyond that we may begin to feel quite sick if we did not have oxygen, and 10,000ft for a human can be fatal. But yet God compared us as Christians to eagles! This so amazed me when I read these things. Like I said above its nothing big just interesting, but it was inspiring to read how God made these beautiful and majestic creatures and compares little me to them.

As I read more about these eagles though I found something sad. An eagles bones in their wings are hollow inside and if their bones become broken it could shatter them and cause then to never be able to fly again. However if the bone is not shattered after given some time to heal they can soar again. It did make me sad though to think about how such a beautiful creator could have its freedom taken away in just a moments time.

I began to think about how we are compared to them. How sometimes in our lives we are faced with such circumstances that we become broken. I have known people who have faced such difficult things in their lives that they gave up on God. It was as if they had broken wings and could not find the strength to carry on.

It saddens me to think of where these people are now because they did not allow God to heal their brokenness, instead they have chosen to live a life of bitterness toward the Lord and for something that they could have found strength in Him for. Now don’t get me wrong I am NOT putting these people down. I have felt at times like I was the one with the broken wings and I have lived with bitterness inside, but I must give God all the glory because even just recently I have found victory in Him.

Sometimes we face storms that are so big and so real and they can cause us to fall and leave us feeling empty and defeated, but there is such great promise from God in this verse. He said... “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” Did you notice that He mentioned the word “shall” 4 times in this verse? What a promise that is...He did not say we might find strength in Him, He said we SHALL find strength in Him.

My main thought in this study was this~ I know that we are compared to the eagle because we too can rise above the storm, but I also know that the eagle can’t fly on broken wings, and I began to think about us as Christians? Can we find the strength to soar even when our lives are so broken? God knows our hearts and where we are, He said he would never leave us. So my question was this~ Can we soar on broken wings?

As I read this verse over and over I came to the decision that we can! How? Because one way we are not like the eagle is this~ an eagle trust in his own strength and the strength that is in his wings to help him fly because that is all he knows, we as Christians do not trust in ourselves. I am so thankful that I know someone so much greater! We trust in the Lord and even when we are broken we can still soar above the storm because we have faith in the Lord to help us rise above our doubts and fears.

As I kept reading this verse at the end it says~ “they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.” I began to think about an athlete for a minute and how it takes much training and stamina to run or walk for long distances and not grow weary and tired. Now physically I am ashamed to admit that I would not make it very far without having to stop for a break, but I began to question myself spiritually, am I running for Him with all the strength that He provides or am I fainting under the load and fearing what my future will hold?

I began to ask myself why do I worry about the things ahead? Now is the time to stand strong in the Lord.

Something else I read about Bald Eagles that I found to be amazing is that they usually only way about 10-15lbs but they can carry up to 5lbs of weight in their talons. That is half of their own body weight! but the weight of something any heavier and it would pull them down.

I began to think about how if we dwell on what is in the future or even what tomorrow holds it can pull us down because we will begin to fret over what we don’t know. I have found myself in this place many times even here lately, but what God has shown me is that worrying about tomorrow does me no good at all because I don’t even have a promise of tomorrow.

An eagle can soar with such freedom and strength but he can only do this if he is healthy and strong. We as Christians can soar with freedom and strength too! Freedom because we have been freed and washed in Jesus blood and in strength even when we don’t feel like it. We can soar even when we are frail and week because we have the Lord who is almighty and powerful that we are trusting in.

I must thank the Lord and give Him all the praise and glory for the strength and help I have found in this verse. What a wonderful promise God has given us that we SHALL find our strength in Him if we wait for His timing.

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!

2009-09-30T11:00:00.000-04:00

Nope it's not Christmas yet! So why am I singing Christmas songs you ask? Well, its my Pastor that got it stuck in my head actually! Last night several of the youth from Church came and we all washed and waxed the Church van! While we were working on it Pastor kept singing those words and it was so funny cause he eventually had a bunch of us singing it!

I have always loved this time of year even when I was a little girl I thought there was nothing quite like it!

It makes me think back to then and how it seemed like 1 day lasted forever and summer lasted for eternity and my favorite time of year was never going to come! I remember how I knew that fall was soon around the bend when I had to start school again..now that part of fall I never did enjoy to much but I can remember several times when I would do my school work outside cause I just could not stand to be stuck in the house on such a beautiful day!

Fall reminds me of so many things..things from my childhood and new traditions in my own home! The smell of cinnamon candles that fill my whole house with sweet goodness, having a warm fire in my fireplace, watching football and eating chili!, baking home made goodies, wearing hoodies, sweaters, and toe socks! the crispness that fills the air when the wind blows, watching the leaves fall softly to the ground and seeing the mountains appear in the distance through the trees! I love how the sky is always so bright and blue and you always see the prettiest sunrises and sunsets, I love eating big caramel apples and running through the leaves!

Even though I am married and have a home of my own now I suppose fall brings out the kid in me and it usually hangs around till the new year! I love the holidays too and I dream of the day when we will have our own kids and I can share all these things with them! But until that day comes I love spending these days with my wonderful Jonathan, family and of course all my great friends! There is really nothing quite like it!

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

I Will Praise You In This Storm

2009-09-28T09:56:00.000-04:00

Verse 1:

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away,
Stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say amen
And it's still raining, as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,

"I'm with you" and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
The God who gives and takes away

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands for You are who You are
No matter where I am and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand, You've never left my side
And though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm

Verse 2:
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You and raised me up again
My strength is almost gone how can I carry on If I can't find You

And as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you" and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
The God who gives and takes away

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands for You are who You are
No matter where I am and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand, You've never left my side
And though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm

Even though these things in my life are hard and testing my faith, I know I am still suppose to praise the Lord for everything. Even in joy and pain, laughter and tears, sunshine or rain God has been good and I give Him all the praise. He is worthy!

When My Faith Is Tested

2009-09-26T10:33:00.000-04:00

When our faith is tested what do we do? (What do I do?) Do I give up? Or press on through the heat, do I trust in what I cannot see and have the faith to move the mountain? Or do I hide in the darkness to not reveal the hurt of my broken heart? These are questions I have asked myself and maybe even you have asked before. But what do we choose?

My mind keeps going back to the verse at the top of my blog, Matthew 17:20. I started wondering why did He choose to compare our faith to one of the smallest seeds that there is? He said that if we could have just that much faith that we could move the mountain, and then a thought came to me, maybe its not so much the size of our faith but who we have our faith in? How much greater is He? For He is the one who made the mountain!

A quote by my Pastor~

"Circumstances should not move our faith and what we believe." -Pastor Pallotta

I do not want the circumstances in my life right now to cause me to loose my faith. I want to keep faith close so that I always have the Lord close.

Learning to walk by this faith I am finding is the hardest part, but I am praying that through these test, God will help my faith grow so that I can come through stronger for Him.

For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day. 2 Timothy 1:12

A Greater Cause

2009-09-17T21:20:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow will be one week ago I did a post in remembrance of 9-11. It was, as ya’ll all ready know, the 8^th anniversary and it is very sad to say but I am sure many people relived that day all over again. I paused that day to remember the lives that were lost and the cause of why they died. But today another thought came to my mind, another cause for which a life was given to save someone else.

The day Jesus gave His life for me, He died for the sin of every man, woman, boy, and girl so that we could be saved and live with Him forever in Heaven someday. But even though God did all this for us, He also gave us our own will to choose whether we would accept or deny Him.

As I thought about how He so willing lay down His life for me all I could feel was love. I had not even been thought of yet when He died, and yet he knew me still and it took the blood of this One Holy and Spotless Lamb to wash away my sins. The sin I had not even committed yet. As I sat and thought on these things today I felt so overwhelmed. Why would God love me so much? Why would He give His only Son to save me? I could not comprehend these thoughts. I could not wrap my mind around them. All I could think was “What Love”!

And then I began to feel somewhat ashamed for how I had doubted Him and His never-ending love for me. How could I doubt the one that gave me the breath I breathe or doubt the one that created our world in just 7 days, I felt ashamed for my disbelief.

While I sat there feeling so lost, it seemed as though He whispered to me “it’s ok” I don’t think any less of you because you doubted me. But do you see now that I am right here with you whether you think I am or not? It seemed as if He was asking me “So are you ready to trust me yet?” How could I argue with this? Instead I sat there for a long time just trying to listen to Him. I have been looking and searching so hard for some rest and peace in Him, when He was right there all along. I am so thankful that He does not get frustrated at me. I do wonder at times though if He has thought He should wave neon signs for me to see Him? LOL

I have been praying and searching for a way out of this valley but He showed me today what I needed to find was the peace He would give and the unending supply of grace He offers to walk right through it, and what is even more wonderful to know is that He will give it to me again tomorrow.

I suppose I have drifted from my original thought. There is a much greater cause that we should remember today! the cause of Jesus Christ. Now I know that today is just September 17, 2009. That I know of, it is not a day that has been recorded in our history books or talked about for a special reason. It is a day the Lord has given us! with a new chance to live for Him. May everyday He gives be a constant reminder of what He did for us and His love and mercy. And may we go out into all the world and tell others of Him and how He loves them too.

I know it may seem like I am talking to the choir but this is what God has done for me today and it has been on my heart and mind so much that I wanted to share it with you all.

I know that each one of us faces battles and that we sruggle with things that sometimes cannot be explained. Don’t get me wrong I am still searching for God’s Will. I don’t have all the answers for my life yet and I still have so much to learn and I know that there will still be tough times ahead, but, on this very rainy day God put a ray of sunshine in my heart and gave me a peace that I have never known before.

I know too that this valley will end and I am sure I will face another, but, when I do I will be able to look back and remember this time in my life when God filled my heart with His love and peace and I will know that if He did it before He will do it again.

I hope and pray that as you read this that it will remind you of how much God love’s and cares for you!

Never Forget!

2009-09-11T12:19:00.000-04:00

Today marks the 8th Anniversary of 9-11. It was a day when this country experienced great loss and sorrow. This is a post dedicated to all the men, women, boys, and girls who lost their life that day.

I remember waking up that morning and it seemed to be just like any other day. I was doing my school work when I heard my Daddy say "Oh My!" I ran to see what was wrong and I found my Dad in front of the t.v. with his head in his hands. I remember saying "Daddy, What's wrong?" and he told me that terrorist had just attacked our country. I did not even know what a terrorist was. I was just 17 years old when that day happened and as I watched on t.v. those towers fall and those planes that hit those buildings I remember how scared I was. I had never seen such a thing in my life and I feared what would happen.

I saw many people covered in a layer of white dust with blood on them. They were the ones that had survived. I also saw men and woman carrying one another to safety, and then I saw people who had died. I remember crying as I watched this horrific display before my eyes.

I remember not doing school for the rest of the day and I remember knowing that this was a day that would soon be in our history books. I remember my Dad did not go to work that day and I remember that we did not do much. No, instead we sat in silence and watched as the events of the day began to unfold.

I remember that day very well, and so as we go through this day may we pause to remember those who died and those who gave their lives trying to rescue and save others. What hero's they were. This is a short video that I put together in honor of them all. May we never forget!

Growing Pains

2009-09-09T22:56:00.000-04:00

When I was a kid, sometimes people would ask me if I had any growing pains. I would look at them and just smile, I really did not understand what they meant by that statement and I must have not experienced very many of them due to the fact that I am just 5' tall. Someone once told me not to let it bother me and that I really was not short, I'm just vertically challenged. I always liked that little saying but now I am getting away from my point.

Someone told me tonight that I am growing in the Lord each day and that while we grow sometimes we will experience pain and difficult times, I also know that we experience many other things and many different emotions as we face each day. I am starting to find though that it is tough to know how to process more than one emotion at a time. Sometimes being excited and scared at the same time can seem to mess with your mind. As I was listening to this person talk my only response was “Growing is Hard!” To which they replied “Yes, sometimes it is.” I started to comment that I did not know if I liked this growing process or not but I know too that while things seem tough that this growing will bring me closer to the Lord if I will trust in Him, and knowing this makes the trip seem a little easier. I just pray that as I grow and learn that my life will reflect Christ.

Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you…James 4:8

Special Service At FBC!

2009-09-06T21:45:00.000-04:00

We had a special service at Church today! A Family from Springfield TN came to our Church to sing! They are the Stewart Family, a very good family that loves the Lord and wants to sing and live for Him. They do a Beautiful job singing and they were truly a blessing and encouragement. I did not get a video of them singing but I do have some pictures. I also have the words below to a song that they sung today. I had never heard this song before and it blessed my heart so much!

I know that as I am waiting through this journey, that I am waiting on God's Will and sometimes His Will is not ours and while I am praying for Him to give me the desires of my heart. If He says "No" I am still blessed!

We also had a wonderful dinner after the service this morning! I enjoyed the great food, fellowship of friends and the wonderful services we had today!

A Greater Yes

Verse 1:
It starts with a desire, planted deep within your heart
You pray in faith, and wait for God to move
Time passes and you wonder
Did He hear me when I called?
Should I even have prayed that prayer at all

Chorus:
You never pray a prayer, your Father will not answer
He can't ignore His child's earnest request
While you're waiting and believing
For what you thought was best
Trust God if He says no….. You're still Blessed
There must be a greater yes

Verse 2:
There comes a time when child-like faith
Must graduate to trust
Trials come and you're convinced you're on your own
But the teacher's often silent
During the hardest test
But He'll answer when It's time with what is best

Bridge:
Sometimes God will answer - just like we prayed
Then other times what's on His mind
Is a better plan, a another way, a greater yes

Do You Still Love Me

2009-09-04T21:01:00.000-04:00

This is a song that is on a CD that a friend let me borrow. It goes along with the post I did a few days ago, "While I'm Waiting." I wanted to share this because I am still thanking the Lord for His goodness to me. And this says very well that He does still love us even when we make mistakes and fail Him. Thank you Lord for your great love and goodness to me.

Do You Still Love Me?

Verse 1

In a lonely place, In the darkness of the night

I knew in my heart it wasn't right

Between the Lord and me

What could I say

As I knelt before a Holy God to pray

Chorus

Do you love me?

Do you love me still?

Do you care enough to bring me back into your will?

Then He answered me and I knew it was true

He said, "I do"

Verse 2

In a barren place, In the dry dessert sand

Far from the blessed promised land

In the wilderness away, From green meadows

I cried out to God from the shadows

Chorus

Do you love me?

Do you love me still?

Do you care enough to bring me back into your will?

Then He answered me and I knew it was true

He said, "I do"

No matter what you've done

Come to the one

Who will cleanse you from it all

If you will call to Him

Chorus

Do you love me?

Do you love me still?

Do you care enough to bring me back into your will?

Then He'll answer you

And you'll know it is true

He'll say "I do"

A Change

2009-09-03T19:44:00.000-04:00

When I created my new blog I considered changing the name from Country Living to something else but did not know what to change it to so I left it as it was, and I did not say anything about changing it because I was unsure if I would or not. I did change my address due to the fact that blogger already had my old one.

As I have continued to think on what I wanted to change my blog to, I started thinking about how it was Country Living and it came to me "How am I living for the Lord?" and my answer was "by faith!" So I wanted the address to be living by faith but that was taken so I chose mustardseedfaith1720 because Matthew 17:20 says And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. The thought came to me that if we could really have this kind of faith and be able to move a mountain then how much more faith we should have to know that God will take care of us. After all, He did create us and He did say I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5b. I want my life and how I live to show Jesus in every way and I pray that as you follow me and my journey through life that you will see through this blog the true desire of my heart is to live for Him. God bless you all!

A quote from a book I have~

We don't loose faith because we struggle. We struggle because we loose faith.

Help Me Dear Lord, to ever keep my faith and trust in You!

While I'm Waiting

2009-09-01T15:34:00.001-04:00

For the last few months I have been struggling with some very difficult things.

I am gonna go back a little ways and tell a story of my life. I hope that through this post you will see God in my life and how merciful He has been to me. I will say this though, that this is gonna be a long post and unless you have some extra time on your hands you may not want to read it just because I know it will be long.

To start, I was raised for most of my life in a Christian home. We did not always go to Church. I remember going some when I was little and I had even attended some Christian schools but it was not until I was about 8 yrs old that we started going to Church faithfully.

My Daddy was a Marine and at this time he was stationed in Okinawa, Japan and so my Mom and I lived with my aunt and uncle while he was away. When he came home we moved to Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. We lived there for about a month before we started going back to Church again. We found a small Church that we attended while we lived there. When my Dad retired and we came back to Tennessee I was 12 yrs old. For a short time my Dad had to go back to North Carolina. But he came home almost every weekend and we started attending a Church in Harriman, Tennessee. Little did I know that I would grow up in this Church, meet the love of my life and stay there until I was 24 yrs old.

A lot happened in my life though during those 12 yrs. I had made a profession of faith when I was 13 and was baptized. I now was a child who attended Church every Sunday Morning, Sunday Night and Wednesday Night. And every time in between that the Church doors were open. I had a Christian Home and a Mother and Father who wanted to do right.

As I grew up I began to see that even though I had been raised in a Christian home for several years now, that I had not truly accepted Jesus as my Savior. And so at the age of 18 I got saved. We had had VBS at our Church and my teacher taught on "To Know the Love of Christ" it was then that I realized that I was lost but I did not surrender to Him until almost 2 weeks later. I had deceived myself into believing that I was saved when I knew deep down inside that I was not, and so on August 8, 2002 God came into my heart and saved me. I was a whole new person and I had such a fire and passion to serve the Lord. I felt like I was unstoppable. But, little did I know that just a year later that all my hopes and dreams were going to be shattered. I was about to face the first valley of my life and I was just a new Christian. I was not prepared for what was coming my way.

The Christian Home that I had known fell apart right before my eyes. I learned that for all those years my Daddy was lost without the Lord. Now, before I go on I must say that I have not talked very much about these things in my life. I have never wanted pity or for anyone to feel sorry for me because I knew that I was not the only one facing a battle. I also did not talk much because I felt like I was the one who had to be strong. I told myself that I could not fall apart. But little did I know that I was not making it as well as I thought I was.

Being faced with the reality that I had a Daddy that was lost tore me apart. He did not want to be saved and he chose his own way. He is still living a life for himself and does not want God in his life. He is a good person and would do anything for anyone but that is not what is gonna get him to Heaven and he knows that. I asked him once did he not fear for his life because he was lost and knew the truth and he answered me with "I have enough time, I will get right someday" I told him that we have no promise of tomorrow and did it not bother him that he would spend forever in Hell if he died before he got right. He said "No."

Again I had a broken heart and a Daddy that is still lost. I say this not to make him look bad. I love my Dad with all my heart. I say this to beg you to pray for him. He did do wrong and chose a life for himself instead of choosing to follow God. But, I know that God can break the strongest of hearts and can turn his life around. Jesus died for him just as he did for you and me.

But at this point in my life I was so broken hearted. I had made plans for my life and wanted God's Will but when MY plans seemed to fall apart and things did not go my way. I gave up.

I still went to church and tried to live the way I was supposed to but I had so much hurt and bitterness inside that I could not live for Him the way that I should. I had blamed God for the loss in my life and in reality turned my back on Him. Not long after these things had happened I began to see how wrong I was for doing such things. I realized how I must have caused the Lord to cry a lot of tears. I begged God for forgiveness and pleaded for Him to take away this shame that I felt. I believe that He did forgive me but I could not forgive myself for what I had done. I was so afraid that even though I had asked for His forgiveness that He would still never use me again. The joy and happiness that I once had seemed to be gone, and the fire that I once had, had dwindled to not even a flame. I now had a past that I knew Satan would continue to haunt me with for the rest of my days.

I at that point thought about how much easier it would have to be if I just quit all together. I am ashamed to say that there were times that living did not seem to matter to me anymore. I just wanted the pain to go away.

But then I heard a song sung at Church one Sunday Morning that said how He is so worthy of our praise. It talks about how He took our place and our sin and shame, and it says how that we would be foolish to give up on Him after all He has done for us. As I listened to those words all I could feel was regret for how I had turned my back on Him. I was scared that He would never use me again because I blamed Him for the loss that I had in my life. Something that meant the world to me was taken away and I felt that it was all His fault because how could He love me and take away something that was my whole world. I begged God again for forgiveness. I was searching for a way out but still could not find peace. I remember feeling like I was at the end of my rope. But just when I thought all hope was lost because God had not spoken to me, He showed up, through a still small voice He spoke to my heart and gave me so much comfort.

He gave me a Bible verse- Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart; wait, I say, on the Lord. Psalm 27:14 I wrote that verse in the front of my old Bible and I would go back and read it from time to time when I needed to be reminded of Him and the comfort that He had given me. I seemed to be doing at little better and it seemed that the wounds were beginning to heal. I married a wonderful man! One that I grew up with and had never dreamed I would marry but God had other plans! We got married on April 16, 2005. I had begun to look at life again through new eyes! "He is a preacher and a Godly man and I knew that we would have a Christian Home. We knew that we wanted to live for the Lord and give Him our new home and our lives to be used for Him.

It was not long after we got married that I faced another valley. But this one we faced together. I had gotten pregnant and had a miscarriage. I did not know how to feel. I was devastated. We had a baby in Heaven and broken hearts.

I began to search for God through this valley but could not seem to find him anywhere. Once again it seemed that He had forgotten me and all hope was lost. I remember I was at home one day and feeling very low. I remember opening my Bible and I did not know where to turn all I knew was I needed something from Him. When I opened my Bible I saw that same verse again. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say on the Lord. Psalm 27:14. Tears flooded my eyes as I read that verse.

But once again I still had a past that Satan revealed to me. It was as if He said "Yeah so what you found that verse again, but you know He will still never use you cause you turned your back on Him" I felt defeated and crushed and once again begged God for forgiveness.

Jonathan and I had made the decision when we first got married that if God wanted us to have children right away that, that was fine with us or if He wanted us to wait that we would do whatever He wanted. But now I had a baby in Heaven and my heart had such a longing to hold that little child. I was just 21 yrs old when that happened and had only been married for a few months. Jonathan and I both decided then that after that we wanted to have children as soon as we could.

That was a little over 4 years ago. I know that does not seem all that long and I know of couples that have waited MUCH longer. We began to pray though and ask God to give us children.

I did not know though for a while that I had some problems that were gonna make things tough for us to have kids. We saw a doctor and after 2 years of test and waiting they finally told me that I had PCOS (aka) Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. They told us that it is something that many women have and that not to worry many women had still had kids. But that we needed to see a specialist because they did not know what else to do to help us and they said that our only option maybe en vitro. We began to pray for God's direction and help in what to do now and we made the decision after much prayer that we would wait a couple years and if in a couple years we still did not have kids that we would see a specialist. During those two years we waited and prayed and begged God to give us the desire of our heart.

I had talked to a friend of mine one day and she told me about this doctor that she had found and how they had tried for a long time to have another baby but had not been able. So I now had a new hope that maybe this doctor could help us and so we decided to see this doctor. He was not a specialist in PCOS but we had hoped that maybe he could help us in some way that the other doctor had not been able too. We only saw him for a little while when we finally made the decision that this was not the direction we wanted to take and that we would just continue to wait for the rest of those two years and if nothing had still happened that we would see a specialist.

During this time we joined a new Church and found a new family in the Lord in our new Church. This was just a year ago! We began to talk some to the Pastor and his wife because we knew that they too had some of the same struggles to have children. They had waited for 14 yrs before the Lord blessed them with a baby girl. We have waited for just a little over 4 yrs now and I long to be a Mommy so much that I can't imagine the struggle of waiting for 14 yrs. This is a quote from a movie but it is so true in my life. "How can I miss someone so much that I have never met?" For I long to hold a child that I can call my own and give back to the Lord, I long to hear "Mommy, I Love You" when I tuck them in at night, I long to rock that child in my arms and sing to them "Jesus Loves Me" I long to hear laughter and giggles when they run through the house playing, I long to teach them about Jesus and how much He loves them.

We started seeing a new doctor a few months ago who is a specialist. It is the doctor that helped our Pastor and his wife to have their little girl.

The first time that we went to see him, he told us that he was not sure if we had had a miscarriage or not. He said that it could have been a cyst that had ruptured. He had not seen the records from the doctor that had said that so he had nothing to say whether we did or did not. I have nothing either that proves that I did or did not. I just know how sick I was and how I felt. I believe with all my heart that we have a child in Heaven, even though I have no proof here on earth to tell me that I do.

Hearing these words from him though brought back all the tears I have cried because I want so much to be a Mom. I began to beg God again to give me the desires of my heart. But once again, Satan brought up my past and told me again that God would not use me because of what I had done. He told me "What makes you think that God will give you the desires of your heart when you broke His. Again, all I felt was shame.

Last year I got a new Bible and I wrote that same verse in the front of it. As I now was facing another valley and looking for God's Will, I went to my Bible looking for strength and would you guess what I found, that same old verse. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord. Psalm 27:14. Tears flooded my eyes once again and I had found some peace in my heart.

For the past few months I have still been battling though with Satan and my past and feeling like God would not use me. I have made the decision now that I want to live for God no matter what happens in my life. Whether He chooses to give us the Children we want or if He says "no." I want so much to be used of God and that our Home will be used for Him.

But something I have just recently learned is that while we are waiting for God to show us His Will, whatever it may be, He does not want us to sit still and just wait. He wants us to be working for Him while we wait. And He has also shown me that while I am waiting for His Will and my dreams to come true that I have to be happy where He has placed me. And for now that means taking care of my home and my husband and being the best Christian that I can be for Him.

Since we started seeing this new doctor and God has been working all these things in me I have had so much in my heart and I have wanted to write it out somehow and so I wrote the words above that are on the picture.

This past Sunday when I went to Church, my Pastor preached a message on giving your whole heart to the Lord. He has actually been preaching a series on these messages and I have been praying and seeking the Lord's Will for what He has for my life as I have listened to those messages. I have still been struggling with not knowing if God would use me. I realized Sunday that if He is gonna use me I have to forgive myself and move on or my life will always be a battle with Satan and how I did wrong. I have finally seen that He has forgiven me for the wrong I did and that it is under the blood and I have been set free in Him. I now know that He is not through with me, and that my life is still useable for Him. I thank the Lord and praise His name for giving me victory over the hurt that I have felt for so long. I know that I still have battles to face and there will be victories to win. But as I face each day I know that I have God right beside me and that I can face anything with Him! I also know that Jonathan loves me and is there for me as I face these trying times. I know that he is facing them too and I want to be there for him as he is here for me.

I wanted to share this with you that you could see God's Goodness in my life. I hope that somehow it will share my new passion and desire that I have to serve Him. He has been so good to me and I have been so blessed! I give Him all the glory for He truly is Worthy!

2009-08-30T15:28:00.001-04:00

Dedicated To:

Carrie Nelson

I want to dedicate this post to a dear friend that the Lord has placed in my life! I believe that true friends are rare and precious treasures and that we must hold onto them when we find such friends. The Bible says~ A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

I first met Carrie a little over a year ago and since then she has come to be a great friend. We still don't know all that much about one another and I am sure that there would be a lot to learn still. But I do know that she has a passion and a desire to serve the Lord. She has a light that shines so brightly for the Lord and seeing how much she loves God has given me more of a desire to live for the Lord. She has been an encouragement and help to me many times. She has laughed at me for my silliness, cried with me, told me the truth when I needed to hear it, been there with me when things were hard and did not say a word but was an encouragement just because she was there, prayed for me, and encouraged me to stand for what is right in a world that does not love Jesus. Someone once said that In the tough times a true friend is one who will be walking into your life when everyone else walks out.

I believe that God's promise to us still stands in the form of a rainbow and sometimes after a storm He will place one in the sky to remind us of His Great and Mighty Love and His Mercy and Grace to us. Just as we walk through storms in our lives, we are not alone because He said in His Word~ God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

I believe that God sends us little rainbows from time to time to remind us He is still with us and He loves us! It may be through an answered prayer, His still small voice spoken through His Word, a song we hear, or when a friend walks into your life and helps you see that He is a Great and Powerful God who loves and cares for each of us as if we were His only Child. I am thankful for the very many rainbows that God has sent into my life. They are markers that are an ever reminder of His presence in my life and His love for me.

I am so very thankful for this dear friend who has been a rainbow in my life!

This is a song I heard years ago and I wanted to dedicate it to you Carrie!

I Will Be There

Verse 1

Hey now you know it's true
After all that we've been through
You can count on me
When it comes down to the end
I will always be your friend
No matter where you go
I want you to know

Chorus
I promise my prayers
I promise my heart
I'll be thinking of you
Wherever you are
When the daylight is done
When the night is so dark
When I cannot be there
I promise my prayers

Verse 2
Down each road we take
We're joined together when we pray
No matter where life leads
You'll be covered by his love

Chorus
I promise my prayers
I promise my heart
I'll be thinking of you
Wherever you are
When the daylight is done
When the night is so dark
When I cannot be there
I promise my prayers

Bridge:

I pray His love will guide you
I know He's there beside you always

Carrie,

I pray that God will shower you with lots of blessings for the encouragement and friend that you have been to me! And I hope that somehow through this you might know how truly thankful I am that God has sent me such a wonderful friend!

Love you Lots!

Just For Fun

2009-08-29T08:46:00.000-04:00

-What are your nicknames? Becky, Beck, BekBek, Becca, Becca-Lou, Smurf, Sunshine, Punkin', Princess, PeeWee, Little Squirt, these were from my Mom and Dad and friends

and then to Jonathan, Babe, Baby, Sweetheart, Sweetie, Honey, Girly Girl

And Cream, actually this is my newest nickname. My pastor one Sunday morning was calling on me and a friend to sing. He said, "Well I really do not know what to call this new group. How about Peaches and Cream." It stuck! and if you have already read Carrie's Blog then you know that she is Peaches!

-What is your favorite scent? I really don't have just 1. There are lots of things I like

Jonathan's Cologne, Amber Romance Candle that Ms. Pallotta makes, good home cooked meal, (I love to eat!) If its Christmas time I love the smell of Cinnamon- reminds me of home when I was little, A sweet baby after giving them a bath, Rain- It smells so clean, sheets that have been dried on the clothes line, Fresh Strawberries in Spring! I love, love, love strawberries :) and the list could go on but I guess this is enough!

-What is one place you've visited, can't forget and want to go back to?

Charleston, South Carolina/ FT. Sumter

Ft. Walton, Florida

Williamsburg, Virginia

Gatlinburg, Tennessee

-Do you trust easily? It really depends. Do I trust people that I just meet. No. Do I trust people to tell me the truth. Yes. People like to tell me stories and I always believe them and then I find out that they were just messing with me!

-What is your favorite flower? Lily of the Valley

- Do you generally think before you act, or act before you think? I always try to think before I act! I don't like to do anything in haste but sometimes I do anyway! I am trying to learn to be wise and think before I act! Keeps me from getting into trouble. LOL

- What is the last song that got stuck in your head? The Source Of My Song

Think Yourself Happy

2009-08-28T18:09:00.000-04:00

Did you know that you can do that? I found this afternoon that when things seemed a little tough I started thinking about all the good things in my life and all the ways God has blessed me and it encouraged me to be happy in spite of the circumstances. It did not change the situtation or make it go away but it made the load a little easier to carry! The Bible tells us Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile!

The Source Of My Song

The source of my song is the Savior

The reason for my singing is the Man from Galilee

It does not depend upon my circumstances

For Jesus is the source of my song

Life is a song worth singin'

Though it can be a hard melody

But if we keep our eyes on Jesus

He will turn the pain into perfect harmony

The source of my song is the Savior

The reason for my singing is the Man from Galilee

It does not depend upon my circumstances

For Jesus is the source of my song

If we only sing when were happy

We will not be singing very long

But if were singin' while the battles raggin'

The world will know that Jesus is the source of our song

The source of my song is the Savior

The reason for my singing is the Man from Galilee

It does not depend upon my circumstances

For Jesus is the source on my song

To My Love

2009-08-25T14:18:00.000-04:00

I know two post in one day is a lot for me! But I want to dedicate this post to my wonderful husband! And I want everyone to know how much I love Jonathan Snow!

Dedicated To My Husband & My Best Friend

Jonathan Snow

Sweetheart,

I know it is not our Anniversary or a special occasion. Today is just Tuesday, August 25, 2009. But I wonder if you knew that we have been married now for 4 years, 3 months, and 9 days! You made me the happiest girl in the world when you married me and I know that we have not been married long but you are still making me happy everyday!

I know that as we journey through the rest of our lives together that there will many things we will face. Good and Bad. But, I know that together and with God at the center of our home we can make it through anything.

This is one of the songs that was sung at Our Wedding and I know that when God made you He was thinking about me! He saw into the future and saw that we would come together someday and have a family together. I want for us to have such a love for each other that in 50 years from now people will look at us and say that we still love one another so much and that we still act like a newly wed couple!!!

Thank you for being so good to me, thank you for praying for me, for loving me anyway even when I do something silly, for forgiving me when I say something wrong, for being the leader in our home and for the spiritual guidance you give, for all the times we have laughed together, cried together, prayed together, read our Bible together, held hands, talked for hours, for the love I feel in your sweet kiss and gentle hug, and for all the many years to come. I look forward to the rest of our lives together! Thank you again for making all my dreams come true! I love you with all my heart Baby!

Wonder What God Was Thinking?

It’s always been a mystery to me

How two hearts can come together

And love can last forever
But now that I have found you, I believe
That a miracle has come
When God sends the perfect one
Now gone are all my questions about why
And I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life

I wonder what God was thinking
When He created you
I wonder if He knew everything I would need
Because He made all my dreams come true
When God made you
He must have been thinking about me

I promise that wherever you may go
Wherever life may lead you
With all my heart I’ll be there too
From this moment on I want you to know
I’ll let nothing come between us
And I will love the ones you love
Now gone are all my questions about why
And I have never been so sure of anything in my life

I wonder what God was thinking
When He created you
I wonder if He knew everything I would need
Because He made all my dreams come true
When God made you
He must have been thinking about me

Many Thoughts For The Day

2009-08-25T09:24:00.000-04:00

I have so many thoughts going through my mind this morning that I am not sure which to write about. Thinking on God's goodness in my life and thanking Him for all His many blessings, thinking on how much work I have to do today and probably won't get it all done...lol. :) Thinking on how trying to know His will for your life can seem like such an adventure, and how waiting for the Lord to show you His will is like waiting on rain during a season of drought.

With this last thought on my mind the most, I woke up this morning and the Lord had put a verse on my mind, Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. Psalm 27:14.

I went and got my Bible and read this verse but as I read it I was saying "Lord I have read this verse many times and I know I have to wait on you and I am trying but sometimes waiting is so very hard." It was as if He and I were having a conversation on how much I was really trusting Him, I wanted to cry and say "But Lord I feel like I am getting discouraged and how do I keep waiting when its so hard. Then He gave me another verse. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13. As you can imagine at that point I could not argue anymore! For He truly is my strength and help, I know that while I am waiting, He is working in ways I cannot see and some way, somehow, He will get the glory. I may never understand here in this life what He is doing but I do know that in Heaven I will know. But I suppose at that point I will not even think about it because I will be too busy praising His wonderful name! I thank Him for giving me these verses this morning and the encouragement that I received from them.

I have so many other verses going through my mind as well, but another one that stands out to me at this moment is, Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit Thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and he shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:4-5. The desire of my heart is to have a life that would be pleasing to the Lord. Not that others would see me because I have done nothing and am nothing without Him. But they would see His goodness in my life. The desire of my heart and I know Jonathan's also is to have a home that would be pleasing to Him.

I know that a home is a place where you find refuge during a storm and a place you find great joy as well. I also know that we must have God at the center of our home and then everything else will fall into place. I know that in a home there will be good times and bad, and things will not always be a bed of roses, but I also know that with Him first in our lives we can make it through anything. I so desire to be a good wife for my husband, a better Christian, that I would have a light that shines brightly for the Lord, a good friend to those around me, and I have a desire to be a Mommy and have children of our own, that we could tell them about Jesus and how much He loves and cares for them!

I thank the Lord for His great mercy in my life. I am not perfect and I have made mistakes and I know that as long as I live in this life I will make mistakes, but I am so thankful to know that even when I fail Him, He is there to pick me up, piece me back together and give me another chance to live for Him! He has done so much for me and I feel like I cannot do enough for Him. I want to give Him my whole heart and I don't want to hold anything back. He gave His life for me, for us, so that we could be free so how could we not give our lives back to Him. I have decided to give God everything I have! Will you join me?

I Have Decided To Follow Jesus

I have decided to follow Jesus; 

I have decided to follow Jesus; 

No turning back, no turning back.

The world behind me, the cross before me; 

No turning back, no turning back.

Though none go with me, still I will follow; 

No turning back, no turning back.

Sleep Over & Water Wars

2009-08-23T17:25:00.000-04:00

Last weekend we had Water Wars again at church. Everyone had so much fun last year that we decided we would make a tradition of it and do it every year. It's a day that we set aside to have a bunch of fun with water games! Everyone ends up being very wet but it's so much fun that it is worth it. :) Last year actually was the first time Jonathan and I had ever been! We had not joined FBC yet but we wanted to and we thought that this would be a fun time to get to know everyone a little better! That was a year ago! and it seems so hard to believe that we have been at FBC for a year already! We LOVE our new church! And we are so happy that the Lord sent us to Fellowship!

All of the girls had been asking for a while if we could have a sleep over at my house! So the night before Water Wars we had a sleep over! We had a big bonfire and roasted hot dogs outside! They played a VERY long game of "LIFE" not sure who won though? We also watched a movie and all crashed at about 2:00 a.m. I did lose a little sleep but that is ok cause I enjoyed having all of them over so much!! And I hope to do it all again soon! Here are some pictures from Water Wars and a couple from our sleep over!

New Blog

2009-08-18T20:49:00.000-04:00

For those of you who follow my blog as you can see I have changed it now. I would love for you to still keep up with me and please feel free to leave comments. :)