I will warn you now, this is probably going to be a long post though I hope that does not keep you from reading it! I have had much on my mind for the last several weeks, and I must say it all. I do not want to divide this into more than one post so if you do not have the extra time on your hands you may not want to read it.
Giving God Your All~
For the last several service we have had at Church, this area has been dealt with a lot. Through the preaching, devotions, even in Sunday School Jonathan has been talking along these lines to the teens. There has been MUCHsaid lately about giving God your ALL, and doing your very best for Him. Living a life that shines out to the world, showing who you are, what you believe, and who you stand for.
To be truly honest...the first time our Pastor preached on the subject The Lord began working in my heart. As I sat there listening that day to what he was saying, my heart was throbbing and felt like it was gonna explode out of my chest. I sat there under conviction, but saying the whole time "Lord, I do want to do my best for you and give you my all!" and it seemed like He questioned back "Do you really?"
I have tried to dismiss the thoughts whirling through my mind and the overwhelming feelings in my heart, but to my dismay, He has kept knocking at the door. (really...I am glad He has!) but for several days these thoughts have been replaying through my mind so hard, and just to be completely honest, I have become somewhat flustered in an attempt to see what He is really wanting me to see, but deep down inside knowing it all to well.
I have said many times that I would give God my all, but in the back of my mind was still somewhat reserved for fear of what others would think of me if I did. Everyone wants to feel needed and loved rather than discredited and beat down if they choose to walk a life for the Lord.
My eyes have been opened a little wider to see just that though- as Christians we are not to live like the rest of the world, we are to be set apart and different. We are to live separated lives so that others will know without any doubts that we are what we say we are.
I was faced with something last week that made me question all these things. It was the first time I had really ever been questioned for my belief, and I had an opportunity to stand up and say why, but I didn't. Not because I don't know why, although I don't know all the reasons. I try to walk what I talk and do what I know is right, but I got scared...I questioned myself and all that I know to be true. I know we all fail and mess up sometimes, but I had been laughed at for what I believe and I hated myself for it.
I had several people tell me that I should not let it get to me so much, and that I should not have let this individual dictate who I am because they really don't know me. I know now that they were all right, but the whole situation and the fact that God has already been working in me about these very things has gotten me fired up now! I am tired of being a coward! I do care what people think of me, but I do NOT want to let anyone push me around again and not at least stand up and fight for what I believe, know why I believe it, and not be afraid to go against the grain! Living for God is the road less traveled, it is going against the current, it is having a face in the wind, it is not popular or always easy but...IT IS RIGHT!!!!
Even as I sit here with all these questions and thoughts racing through me, I know all the answers are found in the Lord. When looking at it that way it seems like it should all be so easy...right? WRONG! So why is it complicated I ask? One answer I have found is this.
The Devil loves for nothing more than to torment us, and sometimes He does such a good job that we are left feeling defeated, torn, and miserable. We CANNOT let Him kick us down, and keep us there though. If we do then He has gained the victory.
I have found it is hard also because as I said in a previous post, we have our own will and pride to contend with, and I know that is why I must keep reading my Bible and stay on my knees before God to not loose sight of Him.
Again I say, maybe it's that we fear the ridicule we will be given if we choose to take that stand, but any dead fish can float down stream! We CAN have a face in the wind, and if we are made fun of, or laughed at then let it be a marker on our lives for a time we took a stand for Christ.
I am normally a peace maker and a people pleaser. I DO NOT like confrontation and I rarely say what is really on my mind just to avoid a "heated" discussion, but I am tired of failing, and just standing by on the sidelines while all that I know to be true and good and right is being walked all over.
With that in mind you may not like what I have to say, you may even hate it, you can call me Wacko, Plain Jane, Conservative, Radical, whatever you please, but before you start throwing your arrows at me let me ask these questions-
What is so wrong with taking a stand for Christ?
What is so wrong with going to Church every time you possible can?
What is so wrong with praying and asking God in faith knowing that He will do what He promised?
I know these things were not to personal (and now let the throwing begin) if so that is fine, but...
What is so wrong with a woman choosing to stay home to be a keeper of her house? Now don't get me wrong, I know that their are some women who have no choice but to go to work and even some who choose that. I will not judge you or think wrong of you if you do. I'm just saying why are woman who stay at home laughed at for doing so?
Why do others view you as a "Jesus Freak" if you choose to wear skirts and dresses all the time? I battled for many, many years on what the big deal was for me to wear pants, but I know what God has told me, it is a conviction He has put in my heart. Again, I will not judge you or think wrongly of you if you wear pants, but I know what God has told mefor my life.
What is so wrong with a wife submitting to her husband (even if he is wrong at times) this is what a Godly woman is supposed to do. Support her husband and back him up. The Bible tells us ...see that she reverence her husband. Ephesians 5:33 Even if you think he is wrong and do not like what he says, I believe it is a matter of respect for the position that God has put him in as the spiritual leader of your home.
What is so wrong with choosing to be careful about what you watch on t.v. or the music you listen to, what you look at on the internet, the friends that you hang around with? I have heard it said all my life that the company you keep is who you are, and who you will become like, While I did understand that before, it had really never sunk in. Now it is all so clear to me. Birds of a feather WILL flock together! I have seen some of my own BEST friends lives ruined because they got in the wrong place at the wrong time, and choose the wrong kind of people to be around, and the wrong way of living.
I do not have any children yet so I may not have much room to speak here, and if God does ever bless us with children, I know we will make mistakes and fail, but I also know what we believe and with the help and grace of God I know how we desire to raise our kids so that He may get the glory and honor.
I have been asked, Will they be home-schooled? my reply is, Yes! What is wrong with that? I don't see the harm in wanting to keep our children home with me to keep them from the danger of this world.
I have had lots of people ask me "When you have kids-will you tell them-no?" "Will you give them a whoopin' if they need it?" again I say, Yes! What is wrong with that? It is not gonna hurt them to hear the word 'no' or for their backsides to get a little tan!
But, might I add that they will be talked to, adored, cherished, held, rocked, cuddled, hugged, kissed, fed, provided for, read to, sung to, told about Jesus, taken to Church and Sunday School, and loved with an ever-lasting love. As I said above, I know that we will not be perfect parents. I will not be a perfect Mother, but I want to strive to be the best that I can be. As you can see this was a much bigger question than the rest, but it is what I/We believe. The Bible say, Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6.
Last, but certainly not least...
What is wrong with keeping God at the very center of your home? Seeking Him first for everything in your lives.
What is wrong with reading the Bible and praying together as a family?
What is wrong with giving God your all? He did give you His all.
Again I say, these are convictions, they are mine, and I will not judge you for yours, that is NOT my place, but I will take a stand.
I will fight for right.
I will walk the road less traveled for my Savior.
I will be a do it the hard and not easy way kind of girl.
I know I am not perfect, and I make mistakes, but I want to have a face in the wind, and live a pure, holy, and acceptable life for God. Even if it means being laughed at I want to say publicly that from this day I will do my best to give my all for my Savior, and not be ashamed of who I am, what I believe, and who I stand for.
And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. Colossians 3:23-24